Are we in the South?

Are we in the South?

I will be honest and say that I was not that excited about this recipe.  Collard greens are something I did not grow up eating.  To be honest, this might be the first or second time I made these.  To me, the name sounds gross.  Sort of like sour cream.  I never would eat it because the name sour cream did not sound appetizing.  Once I ate sour cream, I fell in love.  I sure hoped it would be the case with collard greens because this vegetable is sooooo good for you.

Collard greens is a super food.  Very high in fiber, Vitamin C and K.  Vitamin K is something to watch if you are on any blood thinners.  Just a discloser that it can make your blood thicker.  I don't need anyone having a stroke and blaming it on me because I said collard greens are a super food. Probably the best thing about collard greens is that it is only 49 calories a cup.  Eat it up!!!

I started by getting two bunches/lbs of collard greens, cutting them up and washing them in the sink.  

I then placed two smoked ham hocks in the pot with 3 cups of water.  Ham hocks.... These freaked me out.  What are they exactly?  Are they pigs feet?  I had to go to google to get the scoop. Honestly, what did we do if we needed an answer before the internet.  LOL.  The definition is as followed:

A ham hock (or hough) is the joint between the tibia/fibula and the metatarsals of the foot, where the foot was attached to the hog's leg.

Now that we know it came from an animal, which for some reason is grossing me out more and more,  why do we need it in the recipe.  Basically it is made of bone and cartilage.  Because of this, it needs a long time to break down.  In this recipe it is used for flavor.  I also added a mixture of red wine vinegar and balsamic vinegar again for flavor.

After that, I placed it into a pot with the top on and into the oven at 250 degrees.  I cooked the pot for 2-3 hours, attempting to "simmer" the collard greens again.  After 3 hours, I placed all the ingredients into a smaller pot and then placed it back into the oven for another 2-3 hours.  The house definitely was getting smelly from the collard greens.  

After 2-3 hours an amazing set of friends called and said, "come over and have dinner".  I was so glad but knew I had to eat this because I didn't want to waste it or have to make it again.  I took the pot out of the oven and opened the top and here is what I saw: 

Well.... what to say?  I was not looking forward to this.  It was a brownish green and the smell intensified when I opened it.  I took a deep breath, put the top back on and put it into the car.  I headed to our friends house and was praying that they would not be grossed out.  These two particular people are AMAZING and are always willing to try it.  I was hoping for no judgement. 

The VERDIT:  The ham hocks were gross and slimy.  We debated if we were suppose to eat it but opted to remove it and throw it away.... in the trash outside.  LOL  We sat down to a nice dinner with a table cloth, real plates and no kids around!  (Thank god for the iPad and Frozen being released that day)  We each took a portion making our comments which shall remain private because they were probably not appropriate and took a bite.  The verdict was that it was edible and even one person took seconds.  :)  The rest went into the trash.  I was not a big fan.  The texture was limp and sort of slimy in my opinion.  To me, I could never get the smell out of my nose and the idea of the ham hocks.  I would not make it again.  Maybe I cooked it too long or maybe I needed to serve it with something else.  Any suggestions?  I would like to force myself to eat it but  it has to be better than this.  Please help???

Dried Beans Experiment

Dried Beans Experiment

Water can be a very powerful thing.  It can knock you over in the ocean, it can flood a city, it can help to feed and grow plants, and it can even made or break a meal.  In this next section of "water" we learn about simmering.  Anyone who has ever attempted to cook, even a boxed meal has read the word simmer in the directions.  Have you ever wondering what it actually meant?  I thought it was heating something up until it started to make that, "its too hot and you better turn the heat down" sound.  Usually it includes the sound, "oh crap" which means that I walked away from the stove and my pot boiled over and then I had to run, move the pan and then turn the heat down.  Can anyone relate?  

Simmering basically means to bring water and some target food to the narrow range of 175-200 degrees.  LOL.  Who measures this temperature?  Not me.  Only if I am making some sort of candy or a raw meat product.  This basically means until there are tiny bubbles that form at the bottom of the pan and then travel to the surface.  Anyone see a couple of problems with this?  First of call, my electric stove in notorious for not being able to "slowly" do anything.  It is either boiling over of not hot enough.  Ok, so I like to blame things on my stove instead of my impatience.  Second problem that I see is that how are you suppose to see these infamous bubbles with things besides water in the pot or when the pot is covered.  Because of these two problems,  I rarely "simmer" anything.  I was bound to figure this out!  

The dried bean experience was a chance to figure this out.  I started with 1 lb of white navy beans.  Why navy beans?  They were on sale, only $1.09 for a pound and I love the navy bean song from Adam Sandler.  Thanks Symon.  I started by inspecting the beans for any discolored, cracked, or shriveled beans.  I then rinsed them.   The next step is the soak the beans.  I never understood this but it makes the beans cook faster.  LOL, it obviously doesn't take into account the soaking phase right?  I basically soaked them in the pan I was going to cook with in water for 5 hours.   This is where water can be powerful.  Not enough soaking time and the beans will take twice as long to cook; soak them too long and they get mushy and flavorless.  Not good eats.  I am going to be lucky to get my kids to eat them with flavor.  

After soaking, I rinsed the beans that have doubled in size by this point.  I seasoned them with salt which is VERY important while cooking with water.  If you don't know why, go look up osmosis baby!  I placed the beans and 4 cups of chicken stock in the pot over medium/high heat and bring to a boil.  (I got the boil down).  In another pan I was suppose to heated oil, garlic, and rosemary for a few seconds until nice and brown and it releases it oils.  I skipped this step and just threw it all in the pot because I didn't have fresh garlic so I used garlic powder. I also didn't want to wash another pan.

 Into the pot with the beans went  2 TBSP of garlic powder, 2 sprigs of rosemary, 1/2 cup diced carrots, 3/4 diced onion, and 1/2 cup of diced celery.  Don't forget the pepper.

 The best part of this recipe is that I do not have to stand by the stove.  After adding all of these ingredient, I placed the top on the pot and placed it into the oven at 250 degrees for 1 1/2 hours.  This is the best way to simmer ever!!!!

Once the time is over, I added a little more salt and pepper and then served with fresh bread. I had some diced ham left over from a previous meal and then added it into the "soup" to bribe my kids with "bacon" so they would eat it!

Symon, Ryan, and I loved it!  Ryan is learning about pioneers in school so we talked about beans and how "practical" they are to eat as well as cheap and full of protein and fiber.  They are perfect to use leftover food at the end of the week. I think dried beans is a great staple in the pantry.  I can imagine the pioneers making this sort of stew or soup over a fire in their cast iron dutch oven.  Of course Reagan did not appreciate it and ended up having yogurt for dinner.  Can't please them all.